


the love scenario that we made

by fools_mp3



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, ITS A FAKE DATING AU CUS I CANT HELP MYSELF, M/M, happy pandeep week!, really its diet angst, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-03
Updated: 2018-10-03
Packaged: 2019-07-24 16:13:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16178618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fools_mp3/pseuds/fools_mp3
Summary: Somewhere between the kisses, the hand-holding, and the dates, Jinyoung forgets the most important part of a fake relationship:It’s not real.(Jinyoung falls in love with one of his best friends Woojin, but when he accidentally confesses, he decides he’ll do anything to assure Woojin that he’s not into him. Including falling in [real] love in a [not real] relationship.)





	the love scenario that we made

**Author's Note:**

> hi! this is late, and was supposed to be for pandeep day 1, but this got way longer than it was supposed to be, and i kept editing and re-editing and re-writing and anyway, i have a bad habit of being late to everything so alas, this is late.
> 
> i hope it's okay that i'm late. so sorry.
> 
> _notes_ :
> 
> guanlin and baejin are aged up to be the same age as jihoon/woojin. all other ensemble (donghyun, youngmin, donghan, kenta, yongguk, are the same age -- one year older than them.) sorry if you’re not into that. it was just easier for me to write the dynamic that way.
> 
> daehwi and seungmin are a year younger than them. (i don't really know who seungmin is, it's someone from stray kids that daehwi is close w irl so i just used him, so forgive me!)
> 
> this was way longer than it was supposed to be. forgive me x2.
> 
> pandeep, i love you. (happy pandeep week)

“Hey, Jinyoung, can I talk to you?”

 

That voice.

 

_ God,  _ that voice. Any other time, any other time in the world, if that voice had uttered those seven words, Jinyoung would be melting. In absolute pieces. Sighing dreamily.

 

Except now.

 

He takes a deep breath, plasters on a smile, and shuts his locker.

 

“Woojin.”

 

“Hey Jinyoung,” the other says, smiling awkwardly, his fingers tapping incessantly against his thigh. “Can we talk?”

 

Jinyoung grimaces. “Actually, I was just going to head to ASB room and stop by to give Daehwi some of the cookies my mom packed me—”

 

“You never willingly share your food with Daehwi,” the other points out.

 

“Well,” Jinyoung falters. “Well, you know! Today’s a great day to be a good person and I think that definitely starts out with sharing cookies with the devil’s spawn you kn-”

 

“Jinyoung,” Woojin interrupts and gives him a look. “Please.”

 

“I,” Jinyoung sighs, defeated. “Yeah, okay, sure. Let’s just. Let’s just go outside.”

  
  


 

The walk through the hallways was awkward to say the least; with Jinyoung’s eyes looking anywhere but at Woojin, and Woojin’s eyes opposite— constantly taking a peek in Jinyoung’s direction. Nobody bats an eyelash at the pair—after all it’s Woojin and Jinyoung, and one was never anywhere without the other.

 

**☾**

 

“So,” Woojin starts, hand in his pocket. His stance is awkward, he looks stiff everywhere, and more than anything Jinyoung is embarrassed he’s made Woojin act this awkward in front of him. “Are we going to talk about what you texted me last night?”

 

And there it was.

 

Jinyoung was a fool to hope it wasn’t about that.

 

“I...uh, didn’t mean to text you that?”

 

Woojin frowns. “Jinyoung, you specifically said my name. You literally said ‘Woojin, I wish I wasn’t so helplessly in love with you’ at the start of your message and I’m not that—”

 

_ Yes,  _ he thinks.  _ Obviously. He knows how stupid that excuse was. Considering he wrote that message himself.  _

 

In his defense, confessing to his best friend about the feelings he’s been harboring for years over a text that wasn’t meant for him was not something that Jinyoung had planned.

 

Obviously.

 

“Okay, oh my god, no need to recite the whole message, Park,” he says quickly. He’s embarrassed enough already.

 

Woojin looks at him with pity. A sort of awkwardness to know that his feelings aren’t reciprocated.

 

Jinyoung takes a deep breath, thinking about the web of lies he was ready to spew out. “Listen, Woojin. Those feelings were a long time ago… I don’t. I don’t feel that way for you anymore. Don’t worry. I just… I wrote that to get it off my chest? And, and I didn’t mean to send it, you know? It was kind of. Kind of like a closure thing?”

 

“Closure thing…”

 

“Yeah, yeah! I,” he continues. This could work. “I didn’t mean to send it. Seriously. I wouldn’t want to risk our friendship, it was a mistake to even type it out. And I, just, I don’t want things to be weird between us, Wooj, I mean, we’re best friends. I hope this doesn’t change things?”

 

“I, okay, but don’t you think we should, I mean, talk about this first?”

 

Woojin’s face is etched with confusion, and to be honest he’s always been confused about these things,  _ feelings.  _ He always has been, Jinyoung knows, as he’s watched his best friend be oblivious to the dreamy stares that are pointed towards him over the years. Including his own.

 

“No!” Jinyoung says, way too quickly. “ _ No,  _ I. I think it’s best if we forget that all of this ever happened? Yes. I think we should just put this behind us. Especially because my feelings are gone.  I mean, those feelings were a while ago, and honestly, I was a bit confused anyway, you’re back to being just a bro to me. A broski. Bro-friend.”

 

A  _ bro.  _ He almost laughs. He bro-zoned himself, so Woojin doesn’t have to.

 

Woojin still doesn’t look entirely too convinced, and he looks as if he’s about to say more, but thankfully the bell rings.

 

Jinyoung plasters on a smile. “Look, we have to go to class. But really, no worries, okay, Woojin? I would really much rather prefer that we can pretend this didn’t happen. Especially, because I definitely am not into you and it was just a temporary lapse in judgement. I don’t want things to get weird, okay?”

 

He doesn’t wait for Woojin to finish before he’s pushing past him and walking towards Chemistry class. He lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

  
  


 

**☾**

 

 

When Jinyoung settles into Chemistry lab, he settles his cheeks against his stack of textbooks he’s placed in front of him, with a sigh.

 

Why did he say that? He sent that text by  _ accident?  _ He’s not into Woojin anymore? It was all just a  _ temporary lapse in judgement?  _

 

He shakes his head. Sighs again. Really, he felt like some sort of tortured artist sans the artist. Really, he just felt a little bit tortured. He shuts his eyes. Stupid  _ feelings.  _ Stupid  _ feelings  _ that no one really needs and almost just ruined a good, long, friendship. He only wishes Woojin actually drops the topic.

 

Woojin was pretty clueless when it comes to  _ love  _ and feelings, the type of person who always focused on classes, and friends, and extracurriculars like his dancing and soccer. Things that ‘really mattered’.  Jinyoung had watched from the sidelines enough to know that Park Woojin did not have time for romantic feelings.

  
  
  


Jinyoung doesn’t know when he started falling in love with Woojin. Okay, maybe falling in love were strong words. After all, he was still in high school and there was a whole world of  _ love  _ that he’d yet to explore, but, nonetheless— he doesn’t know when he starting falling  _ really in like  _ with Park Woojin.

 

They’ve been best friends for years, ever since Ms. Cho had threatened to bench them during recess if they kept arguing over the crayons, and have never looked back since. Maybe it was between the times Woojin would make sure Jinyoung got home safely when they hung out late, waiting outside Jinyoung’s door until he pokes his head out from his bedroom window to inform him he was inside, or the times he would stick Jinyoung’s hand in his coat pocket where his handwarmers were when he foolishly forgot his.

 

Woojin of course, just did this to be nice, because that’s what he was, a nice guy. Well mannered and genuinely kind to everyone (for the most part. sometimes Woojin screeches while playing games and Jinyoung wonders if Woojin cares enough about people’s eardrums), and Jinyoung knows this.

 

(He knows it’s only because Woojin is kind, but he still can’t help the flutters in his stomach anyway.)

 

But Woojin was Woojin, one of his best friends, someone who didn’t believe in love at this age, didn’t believe it was important in high school, so Jinyoung had never pried. Never even thought about confessing.

 

He grimaces. Because he never thought about it, but he can’t deny that he  _ did.  _

 

_ This was Daehwi’s fault _ , he thinks. He’s going to kill Daehwi later. Of course. That was the only rational thing to do.

  
  


“Um… are you like, okay?” a voice says, and Jinyoung is pulled out of his plot to kill Daehwi. He sits up straight and turns towards where the voice is.

 

Guanlin looks at him with worry and confusion etched onto his face.

 

“I,” he starts. “Yeah, yeah. Good. Just going through some stuff.”

 

“Yeah, I could tell. You kind of have a tortured artist look going on right now.”

 

“Hey! That’s exactly what I was thinking.”

 

Guanlin raises his eyebrow.

 

“I  _ mean _ ,” he elaborates. “That’s exactly how I’m feeling. Like, I’m feeling like a tortured artist right now.”

 

“Except you’re… not? Unless…” Guanlin trails off, but soon shakes his head. “No, I’m pretty sure you’re not an artist based on the ugly diagrams you draw on our labs.” 

 

Jinyoung frowns and reaches over to pinch him. Guanlin lets out a yelp that Jinyoung ignores. They fall back into their usual banter.

 

“I’ll have you know that my diagrams are one of the best in our class,” Guanlin snorts and Jinyoung shoots him a look. “And anyway, my  _ point  _ is, I’m feeling like a tortured artist  _ minus  _ the artist.”

 

“So you just feel tortured.”

 

“Exactly!”

 

Guanlin rolls his eyes. If he finds Jinyoung overdramatic (he definitely does) he doesn’t say anything.

 

“So are you going to tell me  _ why  _ you’re feeling like a tortured artist minus the artist?”

 

Jinyoung sighs. “It’s no use. It’s too embarrassing and you’re not authorised to know this embarrassing side of me yet, Lai Guanlin.”

 

“ _ What does that even mean _ ?”   
  


He waves Guanlin off. “You’re just a mere lab partner at the train stop called  _ High School  _ in my long life journey, Guanlinnie.”

 

“Wow,” Guanlin scoffs. “I’m kind of hurt, not going to lie.”

 

“Don’t take it to heart, you’re still a solid 4.5 stars in my  _ High School Personalities  _ Yelp review.”

 

“Really?”

 

Guanlin looks pleased. Jinyoung nods enthusiastically.

 

“Yep. Smart, good looking, athletic, kind of funny— we’ll work on that, you have potential Guanlinnie —what else, you saved my Chemistry grade, hmmm,” Jinyoung lists out, thinking of what other redeeming qualities his lab partner has.

 

“So why am I not five stars?”

 

“Don’t be silly, Guanlin, it’s not good to have five stars! It leaves no room for mistakes.”

 

Guanlin hums. “And my dollar signs?”

 

“Please,” Jinyoung shakes his head. “Don’t think I don’t know you’re some kind of  _ Taiwanese Prince.  _ I see you Lai Guanlin, absolutely  _ balling,  _ in your Supreme sweatshirts after class and Balenciaga  _ gym sneakers.  _ Definitely some kind of four dollar signs going on.”

 

“Hey,” Guanlin frowns, reaching over to poke Jinyoung with the back of his mechanical pencil. “I mean the dollar signs on how much my  _ personality _ is  _ worth,  _ croissant-head. Rude. No one was talking about materialistic things!”

 

“Croissant-head? Really? That’s the best you can come up with?” He leans backwards and crosses his arms against his chest, looking at Guanlin with a slightly disappointed expression. He expected better jabs from him.

 

Mr. Kim in the front of the class makes an over-exaggerated  _ Shhh!  _ noise at the growing volume of their conversation. He gives them a pointed look before he goes back to discussing the lab questions.

 

They both return a sheepish look to Mr. Kim before turning back to each other. Guanlin finally starts scribbling the answers to the lab, and Jinyoung hurries to try to understand Guanlin’s handwriting as he copies the answers down. Damn Guanlin and his genius brain -- knowing all the answers to everything, even if he hasn’t even been paying attention.

 

(Not really. It’s the only reason why he’s managed to stay afloat in Chemistry all year.)

 

Guanlin shrugs, his voice a whisper now. “I was thinking melon bread-head, but it’s way too long.”

 

Jinyoung merely  _ tsks  _ as he finally focuses on the little remaining time he has to finish the work he was meant to be doing in the first place. He doesn’t realise that for the past hour, the dread he’s been feeling about Woojin had been temporarily forgotten.

 

 

**☾**

 

Jinyoung slams his lunch tray on the table in an effort to look intimidating. The metal tray makes an echo throughout the cafeteria and the people around them turn to look at him.

 

Daehwi, who sits opposite of Jinyoung, barely looks fazed. Instead, he snorts.

 

“You honestly cannot even blame me,” is what Daehwi says, as Jinyoung slides into his seat, an annoyed expression on his face.

 

“Yes, I  _ can, _ ” he hisses, as he angrily scoops rice out of his bowl. “If  _ you  _ hadn’t told me to write a  _ stupid  _ letter to him expressing my _ stupid _ feelings to ‘ _ get it off my chest’,  _ then I wouldn’t even be in this position!”

 

“You weren’t supposed to  _ send  _ it, idiot,” Daehwi retorts. “Did I tell you to send it?  _ No.  _ You’re fault!”

 

“Don’t pit this on  _ me,  _ Lee Daehwi, it was  _ obviously _ you’re fault— I shouldn’t have even written that letter in the first place, and  _ you know what  _ before I had even accidentally sent it, I didn’t even feel  _ better  _ after typing out all my feelings! I just felt kind of stupid, and also kind of embarrassed that I even  _ had _ feelings like that.  _ Hello _ , I’m pretty sure I literally said something about how he hangs up the stars in my sky. Or something,” Jinyoung rambles, the severity of the situation and his feelings finally catching up to him in the midst of his anger towards Daehwi. 

 

_ God,  _ what has he done.

 

“You did?” Daehwi wrinkles his nose. “Gross, hyung.”

 

Jinyoung shoots him a look. Daehwi quickly continues.

 

“ _ Anyway _ , maybe it was a good thing. You know, it wasn’t healthy for you to be harboring those feelings anyway. I mean,  _ sooner  _ or later the feelings would’ve gotten out of hand and in  _ my defense  _ I was  _ kind of  _ looking out for yo-”

 

“Shut up, shut up, shut up, Woojin is coming,” Jinyoung interrupts and kicks Daehwi’s shin under the table for good measure.

 

Daehwi yelps, and sneaks in a, “I’ll kill you, Bae Jinyoung.” before his face returns back into a smile.

 

~~ Sometimes ~~ Daehwi was scary. 

 

When Woojin arrives with his own lunch tray, he gives a cautious look towards Jinyoung, almost as if he’s afraid to sit there, before he slowly slides into his seat too. He’s quiet today, different than he usually is, and Jinyoung knows he definitely has not forgotten about what happened.

 

Daehwi looks in between them, pity evident on his face, and he sighs.

 

“So, did you hear?” Daehwi mutters, changing the subject quickly. “Jihoon is running for ASB president next year.”

 

“So?” Jinyoung says, and reaches next to him, grabbing a piece of meat off of Woojin’s lunch tray. Just like he always does.

 

He doesn’t miss the way Woojin just lets him, different from the usual  _ Fuck you Jinyoung, you have your own lunch!  _ that usually comes out of him.

 

“So?  _ So?  _ What do you mean, ‘so?’.  _ So,  _ everyone knows Yoojung’s a shoe-in for ASB president next year. God, Yoojung’s gonna be so mad.”

 

“Don’t even know why ASB is even that big of a deal. Woop, woop, you get to stress yourself with all the school events,” Jinyoung deadpans. 

 

“Woojin, did Jihoon mention anything to you about running?” Daehwi asks, and Woojin looks up at him quickly, as if he’s been broken out of a reverie.

 

He shrugs, pushing his food around his tray. “Yeah, said he was thinking about it, or something.”

 

“What’s wrong with you today?” Daehwi inquires, reaching over to pinch the apple of Woojin’s cheek. 

 

Woojin jumps in surprise and reaches out to flick Daehwi’s head in return. “Get away from me before I start calling you mean names, Lee Daehwi.”

 

“Like what? Park Woojin?”

 

“I don’t know it can range anywhere from the devil’s spawn, cereal-that’s-been-left-out-for-an-hour, de-carbonated-soda, really, the list could go on,” Woojin snaps back.

 

Jinyoung laughs, and he feels like Woojin’s regular self is coming back after the mess that was this morning. He doesn’t try to reach for the rest of Woojin’s food anymore.

 

 

**☾**

 

 

Just when he thought his web of lies couldn’t get any deeper, Bae Jinyoung manages to surprise himself.

 

And because he’s himself, and he always manages to blame everyone but himself (it’s a horrible flaw he’s horribly aware of), he blames this one on the man of the hour himself, Park Woojin.

 

Really. If only Park Woojin had just, just  _ forgotten  _ about everything like they had agreed (really, it was more like Jinyoung insisting but who’s counting), Jinyoung wouldn’t have done what he did.

 

It starts out like this:

 

Woojin corners Jinyoung at his locker asking to talk for the second time that day. Jinyoung’s stupid to think that the situation between them could have easily been put behind them— he knows that now, but still.

 

He hasn’t been able to truly digest what he’s going to do all day, and he honestly just wants to go home and maybe hide under his blankets.

 

“Woojin, there’s nothing to talk about,” he insists, walking quickly towards the entrance of the school. He thanks the swimming classes his mom made him enroll in when he was younger for his strong calves now. Woojin has to scurry to catch up with him.

 

“Jinyoung,” he begs. “I’m just not comfortable with this, you know, not talking about it. I just think we should really talk about this, come on.”

 

“But there’s  _ nothing  _ to talk about, Woojin!” He spins around to face Woojin in the hallway, and the other almost knocks into him.

 

Woojin looks at him with wide eyes and confusion. “Do you. Do you still feel that way?”

 

Jinyoung shakes his head furiously. “No,  _ no,  _ I don’t know how many times I have to repeat myself,” he laughs almost manically. “I’m not. I’m not into you, Woojin.”

 

“Swear, Jinyoung? I just, I don’t want to hurt you.”

 

Woojin looks so confused, with his eyebrows furrowed, his snaggletooth sticking out a bit over his lip, a dark shadow on his face. He’s doing that thing where he constantly fiddles with his bangs when he’s stressed. He hates that he’s made Woojin feel this way.

 

He blames it on that. Not wanting Woojin to feel that way anymore. 

 

“I swear,” Jinyoung laughs. “Look, Woojin, I’m really not into you. I’m. I wasn’t going to tell you until I was really sure of my feelings, but, I’m dating someone else.”

 

“I— wait what?”

 

And honestly it went downhill from there.

 

“I’m,” Jinyoung says slowly. “Yeah. I’m dating someone.”

 

“You... are?”

 

Jinyoung nods slowly, and looks down at the books he has clutched in his hand. He refuses to make eye contact with Woojin.

 

“I mean,  _ who?”  _ Woojin asks, dumbfounded. “But you’re always with us. How could you be dating someone?”

 

“Oh you know,” Jinyoung says, looking past him.  _ Shit, shit, shit. He’s right. I don’t spend my time with anyone but them.  _ “It’s um, it’s…”

 

And there he was. His saviour, honestly.

 

“ _ Guanlin!” _

 

The boy, recognizable not only by his height but the huge L A I placed on the back of his basketball jersey he was currently sporting, turns around at the sound of his name. He has a towel in hand, and is headed towards the gym, so Jinyoung uses his smart skills to infer that he’s off to basketball practice.

 

“Jinyoung,” he calls out, smiling and walking over. “My favorite Yelp reviewer.”

 

When he arrives, Jinyoung slips his hand into Guanlin’s and cozies up to his side. Guanlin makes a noise of surprise and looks down at him with confusion.

 

It seems everyone’s looking at him with confusion today.

 

“It’s a pet name,” Jinyoung explains, flashing a smile at Woojin.

 

Woojin’s eyes dart between the two of them. “He calls you… his favorite Yelp reviewer… as a pet name?”

 

Jinyoung shrugs. “Every couple has their own nicknames, right?”

 

“Couple?” Guanlin echoes.

 

Jinyoung squeezes Guanlin’s warm hand in his. 

 

“Yep,” Jinyoung pops the p and laughs to cover the awkward tension. “Well, anyways, honey -- don’t you have to be heading to practice?”

 

“ _ Honey _ ?” 

 

“Hey! I’ll walk you to practice! I haven’t done that in a while, haha. Okay, well! We’re going to go now, Woojin. Bye, see you later!”

 

Jinyoung all but pushes Guanlin forward and away from Woojin as he waves bye, and he waits until they’re out of earshot before he sighs heavily, dropping his head into his hands.

 

“You’ve never walked me to practice,” Guanlin comments, and Jinyoung almost forgets that Guanlin was next to him.

 

“Oh, god. Oh,  _ god, _ ” Jinyoung moans. “What have I done. Fuck, what have I  _ done.” _

 

“What  _ have  _ you done? I mean, no offense, but like, what was that back there?  _ Couple? Honey?” _

 

“I know! God, fuck. Uh, god. Okay. So. Don’t freak out, okay Guanlinnie.”

 

“Bae Jinyoung, you’re scaring me.”

 

“Oh relax,” Jinyoung replies. He won’t admit the panic rising in his chest. “I,  _ god,  _ I. I told Woojin I was dating someone.”

 

“And? What does that have to do with— oh.  _ Oh.” _

 

_ “ _ Yeah. Oh.”

 

“But, Jinyoung.”

 

“Hmm?” He pauses biting on his fingernail to look at Guanlin.

 

“We’re not dating though.”

 

Jinyoung rolls his eyes as they stop in front of the gym doors. 

 

“I  _ know  _ we’re not. Obviously. But Woojin kept pestering me you know, to  _ talk  _ and how could I even talk about what’s happening if I haven’t even fully comprehended my feelings and what’s been happening and I  _ panicked,  _ okay, I panicked. I just wanted him off my back, and I didn’t know what else to say! So I, god, I said I was dating someone, and then he asked me who because really, who could I be dating when I’m always spending my free time with them, and then you were walking down the hallway, and here. Here we are,” Jinyoung lets out a breath.

 

“I…” Guanlin trails off. 

 

“Sorry, sorry, I just, I needed to get that off my chest. God, sorry Guanlin, I dragged you into this,” Jinyoung apologises, because he’s a mess, and he doesn’t know what’s gotten into him.

 

“Look, no, it’s alright— but can we talk about this later? I have practice until five, can we meet after or something? Should I go to your house?”

 

“No, no, it’s okay, I’ll figure it out myself, or something. I’m sorry to drag you into this, okay? I’ll just, I don’t know I’ll come up with something,” Jinyoung concludes, scratching the back of his neck in annoyance. He annoys himself. God.

 

Guanlin looks like he’s about to say something else, but then someone, Jinyoung recognizes him as Donghyun a student a year older than them, comes out calling for Guanlin.

 

“Guanlin, Coach is looking for you! You missed warm-ups man. He’s going to kill you,” Donghyun calls out before he’s running back inside to the court.

 

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll be there in a second, hyung!” Guanlin calls before he turns back to Jinyoung with a disappointed look. “ Just— just wait for me after practice? Please, Jinyoung?”

 

“It’s really oka—”

 

“Wait for me, Jinyoung! Or I’ll give  _ your  _ Yelp profile a bad review!” Guanlin calls out, already jogging towards his teammates.

  
  


 

 

And that’s how Jinyoung finds himself sitting in Hwang’s Creamery, an ice cream shop ten minutes away from school, pouring his heart out to Guanlin over two ice cream sundaes. Banana split for Guanlin, and the classic hot fudge sundae for Jinyoung.

 

The leaves have started to fall already, and the weather is chilly, but neither boys seem to mind as they continue to scoop out ice cream from their bowls.

 

“... and then earlier before you showed up, he was asking me to talk again, so I panicked and said I was dating someone else so  _ obviously _ I can’t be into him and he didn’t need to worry. But  _ then,  _ he asked me who I was dating since I spent all my time with Daehwi and him, and then you showed up,” Jinyoung finishes, scooping up ice cream into his mouth shamefully.

 

The story, including the moment he started to fall  _ in like  _ with Woojin to now, lying to Woojin about a relationship he didn’t have, seems more embarrassing now that he has to repeat it all to Guanlin.

 

“And then I showed up,” Guanlin echoes. “Wait, so is that why you were upset this morning? During chemistry.”

 

Jinyoung nods ruefully. “I still ended up telling you about it. Sad.”

 

“Well, so what now?”

 

“I don’t know. Probably figure out how to tell Woojin I’m actually still single and kind of still in like with him, without embarrassing myself,” Jinyoung sighs, and shrugs at the same time, leaning over to steal a cherry from Guanlin’s bowl. “God, that’s so  _ embarrassing,  _ I can’t do that.”

 

Guanlin simply hums, and pushes his bowl closer for Jinyoung to reach. Jinyoung smiles at him gratefully.

 

“Or, we could just pretend like we’re actually dating?” Guanlin suggests, so casually and nonchalantly, as if he was suggesting what to eat for dinner.

 

Jinyoung chokes on the cherry he was rolling around in his mouth, and Guanlin makes a noise as he rushes to hand Jinyoung his cup of water.

 

“Pretend like we’re actually dating? We can’t do that,” Jinyoung laughs almost manically, because he’s crazy, but he’s not crazy enough to pull something like this off.

 

Guanlin simply shrugs, and takes his banana split ice cream back after Jinyoung’s calmed down, scooping the melting whipped cream into his mouth.

 

“It was just a suggestion,” Guanlin simply says, looking completely unbothered as he continues eating.

 

“We can’t do that,” Jinyoung repeats, but it’s more for himself, as if he’s trying to convince himself that it’s definitely a thing they can’t do.

 

Guanlin shrugs again, and nods. “It’s up to you, Jinyoung.”

 

It’s a few minutes of silence between them, as they both look down at their sundaes and continue eating.

 

“We could date for a bit, and then break up in a couple weeks,” Jinyoung speaks up after a few minutes. “We’ll break up and I’ll tell him it didn’t work out or something. And, I could just tell him we could start dating because. Because we became lab partners in Chemistry and we just hit it off! That explains how I met you outside of, you know, hanging out with them.”

 

Guanlin leans back. “Mhm, and then you wouldn’t have to tell Woojin your embarrassing decisions.”

 

Jinyoung nods, a grin slowly growing on his face. The plan is fool-proof.

 

“Wait, would you really be okay with that, though?” Jinyoung asks, looking at Guanlin with worry.

 

“I mean, there’s not much to it, is there?” Guanlin shrugs. “We’ll just… we’ll just agree to mutually stop when one of us wants to.”

 

“Yep, yep,” Jinyoung says quickly. “Definitely. This’ll be over in a few weeks anyway. And, we probably don’t have to do much anyway. It’ll all be fine!”

 

“Here’s to hoping it’ll raise my 4.5 star review to 5,” Guanlin teases, and Jinyoung laughs.

 

And that’s how it starts.

 

 

**☾**

 

The plan, was in fact,  _ not  _ fool-proof.

  
  


“ _ Bae Jinyoung, I cannot believe you!” _

 

Jinyoung turns in the hallway towards the noise, and when he sees an angry looking Lee Daehwi stalking towards him, he slams his locker quickly, and starts speed walking the opposite way, in an effort to get away from Daehwi.

 

“Oh, please, you can keep running, Bae Jinyoung, but you know at some point you’re going to have to face me! Might as well get it over with now!” Daehwi calls from the other end of the hallway.

 

Jinyoung knows that, that sooner or later, Daehwi was going to come and kick his ass anyway, so instead he sighs heavily, clutches the textbooks in his hand tighter, and turns around to smile at Daehwi making his way towards him.

 

“I’m doing alright, how about you, Daehwi? Thank you so much for asking,” is what Jinyoung sarcastically says, as the younger stomps over to him with his hands on his hips.

 

Daehwi pointedly ignores Jinyoung’s comment, and looks at him with wide eyes and a furrowed brow. “ _Lai_ _Guanlin_? You were crying over Woojin hanging up the stars in your sky just _yesterday!”_

 

“Shh, lower your voice! God.” He pulls Daehwi closer to him and looks around. No one spares them a look, and Daehwi crosses his arms.

 

“Listen. It kind of just happened, okay?”

 

“Kind of. Just. Happened? This makes no sense. I don’t believe this for a second! What’s going on, Jinyoung-hyung? How can you be dating Guanlin when you were hung up on Woojin yesterday?”   
  


“Well maybe I’m not anymore,” Jinyoung snaps, and Daehwi looks at him in surprise. 

 

Jinyoung sighs, and runs his hand through his hair. “Look. Guanlin asked me out during class, and I said yes. Guanlin’s cute and nice, and kind of saved my chemistry grade, you know how hard Mr. Kim’s tests are, anyways I’m off-topic.  _ Point is, _ it’s about time I move on, you know.”

 

Jinyoung mentally gives himself a pat on the back. A+ for the quick thinking.

 

Daehwi still looks unconvinced, but he sighs, and nudges Jinyoung with his arm. “I’m not sure what’s going on, but I hope you know what you’re doing. Believe it or not, I care about you, or something. I guess. I don’t want you to get hurt. Or whatever.”

 

Jinyoung laughs. “Aw, that’s so nice of you, Daehwi.”

 

“Yeah, shut up, I’m still going to get to the bottom of this, idiot. Thanks for not telling me first, by the way.”

 

“You’ve been promoted from cereal-that’s-been-left-out-for-an-hour to cereal-that’s-been-left-out-for-thirty-minutes.”

 

“You think you came up with the nickname ‘devil’s spawn’ for me? I came up with that name for  _ myself,  _ Bae Jinyoung. For good reason. Don’t try me,” Daehwi responds to that, miffed. “See you at lunch. Bring your boy toy!”

  
  
  
  
  
  


 

“Jinyoung,” Guanlin whispers, hurriedly, as Jinyoung leads him towards his lunch table, one hand carrying his tray, the other, holding onto Jinyoung’s hand.

 

“Jinyoung,” he repeats. “We’re not prepared for this. God, Daehwi’s scary. I feel like this is worse than meeting your parents.”

 

“Relax,” Jinyoung hisses, and smiles when Daehwi spots them from afar, waving them over. “What’s there to prepare?”

 

“We haven’t even discussed our story! How we got together. God, we just started ‘dating’-- how are we going to prepare ourselves. Maybe, maybe this was all a bad idea,” Guanlin panics.

 

Jinyoung lets go of his hand temporarily to pinch Guanlin’s side, and he yelps. “This was your idea, Mr. Jack and the Beanstalk, don’t back out on me now. There’s nothing to prepare, we’ll be fine.”

 

“Jack and the Beanstalk,” Guanlin whines. “That’s the worst one.”

 

Jinyoung doesn’t have time to retort, because soon enough they’re reaching Jinyoung’s usual lunch table where Daehwi, Woojin, and also Jihoon and Donghan, who occasionally sit with them as well sit, already munching on their food.

 

“Hey guys,” Jinyoung says slipping into his seat, pulling Guanlin down along with him. “Brought Guanlinnie, as per  _ Your Highness’  _ request.”

 

Jinyoung shoots Daehwi a look, who in turn kicks him under the table in retaliation.

 

“Hey guys,” Guanlin says awkwardly, raising his hand in acknowledgment. The rest of the table choruses out a ‘Hi’ and Jinyoung scoots closer to Guanlin’s chair and rests his hand on Guanlin’s thigh in reassurance. 

 

Guanlin smiles at him gratefully.

 

“So Guanlin,” Daehwi says cheerfully, but there’s a glint in his eye. “Didn’t know you were so into our Jinyoung-hyung over here. So, how long have you been in love with him?”

 

Guanlin chokes on the scoop of rice he had just shoved in his mouth, and Jinyoung has to reach over to rub his back and make sure he’s okay.

 

“Stop scaring the kid,” Jihoon deadpans, and the rest of the table laughs. “You’re acting like Jinyoung’s mom.”

 

Daehwi looks affronted. “I was just wondering! We were all thinking it, let’s be real.”

 

“I, uh,” Guanlin responds, once he’s taken a gulp of water. “Um…”

 

“You don’t have to answer,” Woojin says, looking at Guanlin apologetically. “Daehwi’s just pulling your leg.”

 

“No, uh, no, it’s fine,” Guanlin coughs, before he smiles again. He puts his arm around Jinyoung’s shoulders and the latter squeaks in surprise. “Um, well. Jinyoung and I are lab partners in Chemistry, and I guess we kind of just hit it off. I’ve kind of, uh, been into him these last couple of months, so I thought it was time to ask him out.”

 

Jinyoung doesn’t expect that, a smooth answer, composed of the truth and a lie, that somehow makes his insides feel warm.

 

“Oh my god, he’s turning red,” Jihoon points at Jinyoung. “Oh my god, Jinyoung is turning red.”

 

The rest turn to look at him, and he feels his ears turn red in embarrassment too when they all start to coo. “Shut up, no I’m not.”

 

“Babe, you kind of are,” Guanlin laughs. “But it’s okay. It’s cute.”

 

_ Babe.  _

 

“Babe,” Donghan makes a noise as if he’s throwing up. He sighs. “I came to get away from couples and here I am.”

 

“Shut up, Donghan,” Daehwi says, looking softer than he looked ten minutes ago. “They’re so cute. Oh my god, they’re so cute I can’t believe this. Jinyoung dating someone. And being so cute.”

 

Jinyoung reaches up to whisper in Guanlin’s ear. “Donghan’s best friends with Yongguk and Kenta— they’re dating.”

 

“Ah,” Guanlin says in response, the familiar names ringing a bell.

 

“By the way,” Jinyoung says quietly. “Never told me you’re search a good actor.”

 

He squeezes Guanlin’s hand that somehow found his way into his, and Guanlin laughs.

 

“I did theater in middle school,” he shrugs, grinning cheekily. “Lots of things you don’t know about me.”

 

Jinyoung rolls his eyes. “You had nothing to worry about.”

 

Guanlin coughs. “Daehwi’s still kind of scary.”

 

“Hey!” As if on cue, Daehwi throws a napkin at them to get their attention. “Sorry to interrupt your whispering over there, lovebirds, but you coming with us after school? We’re trying out that new burger place across the street.”

 

“Ah, I would, but I have basketball practice. Maybe next time?” Guanlin responds.

 

“Ugh, I was hoping I could get to know you more,” Daehwi admits. “Fine. But hang out with us sometime, okay?”

 

Guanlin laughs, nodding at Daehwi’s transparency. “You have all the time to get to know me, Daehwi, but definitely.”

 

Something about that sentence, the implication that Guanlin will stay by his side for a long time, with his friends, makes Jinyoung’s heart skip a beat.

 

**☾**

 

“You’re a lot better at this than I thought,” Jinyoung says, later that night, his phone pressed to his ear as he lies down on his side, staring into space. 

 

“Have you fake dated someone else before me? You seem too experienced,” he teases.

 

He hears Guanlin laugh on the other end of the phone line. “I’ll let you in on a secret. I’m  _ really  _ into dramas.”

 

Jinyoung makes a face before he realises Guanlin can’t see him over the phone. “That explains why you’re so incredibly cheesy. Definitely not what I expected from you.”

 

“You seem to forget we were, and I quote, ‘mere lab partners’, before this. You don’t know a lot of things about me.”

 

Jinyoung hums. “Alright, alright. Now that I think about it, we don’t really know much about each other.”

 

“Hi, my name’s Guanlin, I’m seventeen. I currently reside in Seoul, South Korea. I’m fake dating a guy named Bae Jinyoung,” Guanlin responds in a monotone voice, and Jinyoung has to stop himself from giggling to loud and waking up his parents.

 

“Stop that, I’m  _ serious,”  _ he drawls out. “We probably should know more about each other. So people, you know. Don’t think it’s odd that we’re dating and don’t know anything about each other? It’s research.”

 

“Right. Research.”

 

“Exactly. We need to at least know the basics. Like. What’s your favorite color?”

 

“That’s the most boring question to start with.”

 

“Just answer this question!”

 

“Fine. Green. Who would you play in a movie about your life?”

 

“Scarlett Johansson,” Jinyoung jokes.

 

Guanlin snorts. “She would probably get it.”

 

“Joking. Hmmmm. I don’t know who would fit me.”

 

“That’s true. Don’t know which actor has a small of a head as you do.”

 

“Just so you know, I’m taking that as a compliment,” Jinyoung chirps. “What’s your favorite subject in school?”

 

“Please find more interesting questions,” Guanlin deadpans. “And Chemistry.”

 

“Aw,” Jinyoung coos. “Didn’t know you loved to spend all that time with me, Guanlinnie.”

 

“I’m not even going to humour you.” 

 

Jinyoung laughs.

 

“What’s your favorite dessert?”

 

“Oh,” Jinyoung thinks. “I have to think this one through.”

 

He lays quiet for a few minutes, thinking of all the sweets he enjoys, and goes back and forth.

 

“Did you fall asleep on me or are you seriously just taking that long to decide what you’re favorite dessert is?”   
  


“Hey,” Jinyoung frowns. “I have a sweet tooth! And… probably creme brulee.”

 

“Creme brulee? You took that long to pick  _ creme brulee?  _ I’m sick,” Guanlin says with disgust.

 

“I bet you’re not any better,” Jinyoung huffs. “What’s your favorite dessert?”

 

“Banana split sundae, obviously.”

 

“Ah yes, the taste bud of a five year old.”

 

“I’m hanging up.”

 

“No, wait! I was kidding,” Jinyoung breathes out, in between giggles. “Okay, okay. Why do you like basketball so much?”

 

“Well, if you must know, I’m Steph Curry’s long lost son, you see…”

 

Jinyoung spends the rest of the night trying to conceal his laughter from getting too loud, and struggling to keep his eyes open in exchange for getting to know more about Guanlin. At some point in the night, when he starts seeing blood orange through his window due to sunrise, he notices both his and Guanlin’s voice are laced with exhaustion. He manages to whisper a  _ good night  _ before he’s drifting off to sleep.

 

**☾**

 

The thing with fake dating, particularly with Guanlin is, you almost forget that you’re even fake dating.

 

Everything is so _easy,_ as if everything is normal, and at some point, Jinyoung forgets that he’s walking Guanlin to basketball practice because Guanlin is his _boyfriend,_ or that they hold hands as they walk through the hallway because they’re fake dating and not because Jinyoung just really loves the warmth Guanlin’s hand gives him.

 

And then, Guanlin will kiss his forehead goodbye before class, and put his arm around his shoulder as soon as Jinyoung slides in next to him during lunch, and he remembers that none of this is real.

 

**☾**

 

“They’re sharing clothes now,” Woojin teases. “I think they’re about to overtake Donghyun and Youngmin for cheesiest couple in school.”

 

“Eugh,” Jihoon says in disgust. “People being happy. Gross.”

 

“That’s my line,” Daehwi retorts. “Life was more fun when Guanlin and Jinyoung were still being awkward and weird with each other. Now I’m just sad about how single I am.”

 

Jinyoung rolls his eyes, as Guanlin simply laughs, and he stuffs his hand into the sweatshirt that Guanlin lent him.

 

It had started out with Jinyoung pestering Guanlin to let him wear one of Guanlin’s Supreme sweatshirts,  _ just once, please, I’d like to know how it is to live as a hypebeast for one day,  _ and at some point, Jinyoung got accustomed to wearing it all the time, and having the smell of Guanlin on him constantly be a comfort to him.

 

“You guys are just jealous you don’t have Supreme sweatshirts yourselves,” Jinyoung accuses, sticking his tongue out.

 

Donghan hums. “Maybe so. Hey, Guanlin, since you’re like rich Taiwanese royalty or whatever, do you think you can hook a bro up with the newest BAPE drop? The new collection’s supposed to drop on Friday.”

 

“I don’t have special connections, if that’s what you’re thinking. But I’ll see what I can do. I can probably pull some strings,” Guanlin laughs, wiggling his eyebrows.

 

“Bro, you’re such a bro,” Donghan says, and reaches over to fist bump Guanlin. 

 

“Hey, you’re coming to my basketball game later, right?” Guanlin asks, turning towards Jinyoung. “It’s the last one of the season. Finals.”

 

“I mean, do you want me there?” Jinyoung asks, shrugging.

 

“Of course I want my boyfriend there. With a poster with my name, please.” Guanlin says cheekily.

 

Jinyoung snorts. “I think you seem to forget I don’t have any artistic skills. Pass on the poster, but I’ll come.”

 

“I’ll come too,” Daehwi chimes in. “And Jinyoung, we’re making those posters. I’ll do it with you.”

 

Guanlin lights up. “You’ll make posters for me, Daehwi?”

 

“Listen, I haven’t had a chance to take out my arts and crafts supplies in weeks. I wanna make a poster. That’s it,” Daehwi corrects. “Also,  _ maybe _ , I wanna make a poster for Seungmin. So what.”

 

Woojin cackles. “That’s right! Why haven’t you asked Guanlin to set you up with him, yet? They’re on the same team.”

 

“Seungmin?” Guanlin lets go of his arm around Jinyoung’s shoulder to lean forward towards Daehwi. Jinyoung tries not to frown at the absence. “You’re into Seungmin?”

 

“No. Yes,” Daehwi mutters, redness slowly inching up his neck. “Maybe.”

 

“I could definitely set you up!”

 

“I’ll make sure your boyfriend makes you the best poster of all,” Daehwi responds, pleased.

 

Guanlin reaches over and high fives Daehwi.

 

“But not better than my poster for Seungmin, of course,” Daehwi adds as an afterthought. 

 

Jinyoung frowns at him and Daehwi shrugs.“Guanlin’s already in love with you! I still have to get Seungmin to love me.”

  
  
  
  


 

The first time Jinyoung and Guanlin kiss, is later that night, in the gym of their high school. It comes unexpectedly — neither of them really expecting it. But then there’s twelve seconds on the clock, and everyone, including Jinyoung, is yelling, and Guanlin’s racing around the court, weaving his way between the other team’s players.

 

“ _ Come on, Lai Guanlin! Shoot! Shoot! I won’t be dating a fucking loser!!”  _ Jinyoung’s yelling at the top of his lungs as he continues to wave his poster with “LAI GUANLIN! CHUU!” written on it.

 

Daehwi’s next to him, yelling, “ _ I don’t know what’s happening but whoo!!! Guanlin!!!!!!” _

 

Guanlin’s eyes are furrowed as he continues to dribble the ball, and the clock inches closer to zero— 8, 7, 6, 5…

 

He’s far from the basket, and he has to decide quickly whether he’s going to risk it and try to shoot now, or potentially waste time getting closer to the basket. In the end, he’s cornered too much by the opposite team, and he decides to fuck it. He shoots from where he is, and it’s easily a three pointer if he makes it.

 

Which he does. Everyone quiets as the ball gets closer to the basket, so quiet, that Guanlin thinks he can hear the  _ swish  _ as the ball goes in smoothly.

 

Then the gym is erupting in cheers, and the other team is hanging their heads low, and Guanlin is so happy,  _ so incredibly happy,  _ and his teammates are running up to him, hugging him on the back, congratulating him. He hugs all of them, before he slips away to look for the guy he heard cheer loudly throughout the whole game.

 

He feels a tap on his shoulder in the throng of people, and when he turns around, he sees Jinyoung grinning widely at him, jumping up and down.

 

“You fucking legend,” is what Jinyoung says first, and Guanlin laughs before he’s sweeping Jinyoung into a hug.

 

“Heard you,” Guanlin whispers in his ear. “Said you weren’t going to ‘date a fucking loser’, I think is what I heard?”

 

He sets Jinyoung down and pulls away, but their arms still stay wrapped around each other.

 

“You heard me,” is what Jinyoung says, before he’s leaning forward, and crashing their lips together.

 

Guanlin makes a noise of surprise, his eyes wide, before he closes them, and he’s absolutely melting into Jinyoung, letting go his arms around Jinyoung to cup one hand on Jinyoung’s jaw and the other on his neck, pushing closer. Jinyoung’s lips are a bit chapped, and he’s sure he’s dripping sweat everywhere, but he can’t help but smile into the kiss.

 

When he pulls away, he can’t tell if he’s out of breath because of the game or the kiss.

 

“What was that for?” he whispers, resting his forehead on Jinyoung’s, grinning.

  
Jinyoung’s eyes widen, and he pulls away, shocked as if he wasn’t the one who pushed forward first.

 

“Oh. Um,” he says quietly. “Daehwi was looking.”

 

Guanlin looks past Jinyoung to where Daehwi stood, but the latter isn’t even paying attention to them, instead talking animatedly to Seungmin.

 

“Right,” is all Guanlin says.

 

**☾**

  
  


Guanlin doesn’t say anything when they start kissing in front of Jinyoung’s locker in between classes, or when they’re hanging out in Jinyoung’s room, where no one is watching.

 

**☾**

 

The leaves all stop falling, and the trees emptiness feels like it has some kind of permanence. Jinyoung’s mom starts taking out their winter clothes, and the streets of Seoul start being filled with Christmas carols. 

 

At some point, between the study dates and the cuddling after school at either one of their houses, as the months continued, Jinyoung forgets the reason he and Guanlin are even doing this anymore.

 

He kisses Guanlin because he wants to, and holds Guanlin’s hand because he wants to, and stays up to talk to Guanlin all night because Guanlin makes him happy and make sures he sleeps with a smile on his face.

 

He hasn’t thought about Woojin as more than his best friend in almost months.

 

**☾**

  
  


“I don’t want to do this anymore,” Guanlin says one day, when the weather starts getting warmer, and the flowers start to bloom again.

 

They’re in Guanlin’s room, watching TV, Jinyoung snuggled into his side, watching some sort of afternoon variety show re-run. He had come over to work on homework, but soon the homework was abandoned to the side in exchange for Guanlin’s warmth.

 

Jinyoung moves away from Guanlin to sit up and look at his face. It’s almost blank, but Guanlin’s eyes are hardened. “Do what?”

 

“This,” Guanlin breathes out, and he waves his arm in front of him. “All of this. Us. I don’t want to do this anymore. It wasn’t supposed to get this far.”

 

When Jinyoung looks at him blankly, Guanlin continues.

 

“Let’s break up.”

 

“Fake break up. Or whatever,” he adds, laughing, but it’s a bleak one, one without any humour.

 

“I— okay. But why?” Jinyoung says quietly. “Did I do something, or…?”

 

“Look, we agreed to stop when one of us wanted to stop, so let’s just stop this, okay Jinyoung?”

 

Guanlin avoids eye contact, and instead looks down at his lap and fiddles with the hem of his shirt. He shifts away from Jinyoung, and though his large, lanky body prevents him from moving much, Jinyoung takes notice.

 

“I…” Jinyoung trails off, but he sighs. “Fine. Okay, whatever. I should get going then, I guess.”

 

He gets up from the bed to move gather his stuff, and when he climbs over Guanlin to reach the floor, Guanlin shies away from him quickly, as if touching Jinyoung would hurt him.

 

Jinyoung frowns, and reaches down to grab his textbooks, slowly grabbing his scattered notes to stuff inside his folder. Guanlin looks at him silently as he continues packing his stuff.

 

It’s a few more minutes before he’s gathered everything, and he’s about to grab his sweatshirt (re: Guanlin’s sweatshirt) before Guanlin stops him.

 

“That’s uh, my sweatshirt.”

 

Jinyoung stops, halfway through putting it on, and sighs, removing it again, and dropping it on the floor. “Right. Well.”

 

He turns toward the door, and is halfway through walking it when he whips around. 

 

“No, you know what. Let’s talk about this,” Jinyoung abruptly says, and Guanlin looks up at him in surprise, as if he didn’t expect Jinyoung to argue with him. “You can’t just say you want to stop this with no explanation. You could at least tell me the reasoning.”

 

“Actually, I can? Just say it without a reason? We agreed, Jinyoung. We stop this when one of us wants to stop.”

 

“Well, we also agreed to end this after a few weeks, Guanlin, but look where we fucking are? It’s been  _ months!  _ Months of,” Jinyoung waves his arms. “This! Things have changed!”

 

“Have they?” Guanlin says coldly. “I don’t know, Jinyoung. I’m kind of confused on what’s real and what’s not anymore.”

 

“What are you even saying? Are you really saying that  _ none _ of what happened between us was— was real to you?” 

 

“I didn’t say that!” Guanlin scoffs. “Fine, you wanna know the real reason why I wanna stop? I’m tired of being some sort of cover up for your love for Woojin, okay? I’m tired of doing all of this, because you love someone who didn’t love you back!”

 

Jinyoung stalks forward to jab a finger in Guanlin’s chest. “ _ You’re  _ the one who agreed to it, and suggested it in the ice cream shop, in the first place! Don’t act like you didn’t agree to it and I  _ forced  _ you into this!”

 

“I didn’t say you forced me into it, Jinyoung— I know what I signed up for, trust me, I  _ know.  _ And now I’m saying I’m fucking  _ tired,  _ I’m tired of doing this because of some higher reasoning! I see no point in it. You’re right. It’s been  _ months,  _ and I don’t want to be holding your hand or kissing you for the sake of fooling some guy you’re in love with! I feel so stupid, doing it, and I don’t want to do it any longer,” Guanlin says, his words coming out in spurts of angry breaths. He looks so angry, and Jinyoung’s never seen him like this before.

 

“Did you ever think about just admitting you love the guy, and then moving on, huh, Jinyoung?” Guanlin says, eyes dark. “Or were you just planning on having me be his replacement forever? Allowed me to kiss you and snuggle with you, pretending it was all Woojin in your head?”

 

Jinyoung inhales. “You know it wasn’t like that, Guanlin.”

 

Guanlin laughs, but it’s emotionless. “Do I?”

 

Jinyoung stays quiet, the anger and furiousness in his body before slowly leaving, hurt and exhaustion staying in its stead.

 

“Look, just go home,” Guanlin mumbles, running a hand through his hair. “I don’t wanna talk anymore.”

 

Jinyoung takes one last look at him before he’s stepping back, and turning on his heel, not once looking back.

 

**☾**

 

Jinyoung forgets the most important part of a fake relationship — that none of it is real. If he had remembered, he wouldn’t have let Guanlin be such a permanent fixture in his life.

 

He tries to convince his mom to let him school, but she just laughs — she’s even made him go to school once when he had a fever, so he sighs, knowing it was worth a shot.

 

When he shows up to Chemistry, holding his breath, he spots Jihoon sitting in Guanlin’s usual seat. Guanlin sits where Jihoon usually is, in the back of the room next to Doyeon.

 

He lets out a breath as he walks up to his desk. “Hey, Jihoon.”

 

Jihoon looks up from his notes and gives Jinyoung an apologetic smile. “Hey, Jinyoung. Guanlin asked me to switch spots with him today.”

 

“So, he told you?”

 

Jihoon shakes his head. “Nah. But I could kinda guess by how desperate he was. He said he’d give me all his Chemistry notes, for like, ever.”

 

“Ah.”

 

“Sorry, Jinyoung,” is all Jihoon says, because he knows there’s nothing else he can say to make Jihoon feel better.

 

“S’okay."

  
  


 

 

Lunch is even weirder without Guanlin to fill in the space, and the whole table shifts uncomfortably at the tense air between them.

 

“I’ll kill him,” Daehwi says grumpily. “He set me up with Seungmin so whatever, but doesn’t mean I won’t still kill him.”

 

“You won’t kill him,” Woojin tuts. “You like Guanlin.”

 

“ _ No,  _ I don’t,” Daehwi insists. “He broke Jinyoung’s heart. I hate him.”

 

“Wow, thanks, Daehwi,” Jinyoung responds, laughing. “I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

 

“Well, stop moping so I can stop saying nice things to make you feel better,” Daehwi complains. “I feel weird.”

 

“I’m not moping!” 

 

It’s a lie. His chest  _ hurts _ — hasn’t stopped hurting since yesterday, and he wonders if this feeling’s going to settle there forever.

 

“You  _ are. Therefore,  _ I will kill him for breaking your heart,” Daehwi says matter-of-factly.

 

“You don’t even know what happened between us. We mutually broke each other’s heart,” Jinyoung admits. “And besides. He became your guys’ friend, too. So, I’m sorry.”

 

The table stays quiet at this, because Guanlin has. Somehow through the past few months, he became a permanent fixture of their life. He was someone that existed separately from Jinyoung. It was Jinyoung. And then Guanlin. And then, somehow, sometime, it became Jinyoung and Guanlin for the rest of them, and that was normal.

 

“Well, don’t apologise,” Donghan says. “You were our friend first. And I just hope that you guys can talk it out to be civilised with each other.”

 

The others make a noise of agreement, and Jinyoung just looks down at his food quietly. “Yeah, me too.”

 

**☾**

  
  


Jinyoung can’t even really blame Guanlin, because it’s his fault he actually fell in love when he wasn’t supposed to. 

 

Soon enough, his anger for Guanlin and the situation fades, and he’s left feeling empty, and like a fool for even falling in love.

 

**☾**

 

He doesn’t expect to ever tell Daehwi that the whole relationship with Guanlin is fake, but that’s what he does.

 

That’s what he does, one Saturday night, when Daehwi stalks up the stairs in his house, and slams his door open with a large bang.

 

It’s only six p.m, but Jinyoung’s already curled into a ball on his bed, ready to drift off to sleep. He doesn’t go out much anymore, opting to go to school and go straight home. He doesn’t eat much anymore either, so after homework he’s usually too exhausted to do much else, and goes to sleep.

 

“Alright,” Daehwi says, hands on his hips. “You need an intervention.”

 

Jinyoung pops out from under his covers and tilts his head to look up at Daehwi.

 

“Huh?”

 

“You need an intervention,” Daehwi repeats. “This is an intervention.”

 

“Um, alright?” he sits up in his bed. “For what?”

 

Daehwi laughs. He laughs so hard, so loud, so  _ manically,  _ that Jinyoung’s kind of scared. “For  _ what? _ ”

 

“You’re scaring me.”

 

“For  _ what?  _ How about how you’ve been acting like a ghost for the past two weeks? No offense, but you’re a little too early for Halloween. That’s in  _ eight months. _ ”

 

“I haven’t been acting like a ghost!”   
  


“Look, I’m going to keep this short, because,” he stops to check his watch. “I’m watching a movie with Seungmin in twenty minutes. But, you need to talk with Guanlin. I’m not sure what the  _ hell  _ happened between you and him, but we all know you guys still love each other. So, I don’t quite understand why you guys even broke up.”

 

“We don’t— we don’t love each other, okay? Or he doesn’t love me, at least.”

 

“Oh,  _ shut up,  _ Jinyoung-hyung. Don’t lie to me, or yourself,  _ please.  _ You know, he’s not doing any better than you, right? He looks just as bad at school — you would know that if you weren’t constantly avoiding him and leaving right away, you know — and Jihoon told me his notes for Chemistry were pretty much useless since they suck lately and his grade has been dropping.”

 

Jinyoung frowns. “His grades have been dropping? I hope he’s not beating himself up over it. And he should be getting some rest.”

 

Daehwi snaps his fingers. “See! You still care about him. I knew it. You love him.”

 

“Listen, even if  _ I  _ still love him, it doesn’t matter, okay?” Jinyoung insists. “Because he doesn’t love me.”   
  


“Yeah he does.”

 

“No, he really doesn’t.”

 

“Yeah, he really does.”

 

“No.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“ _ No.” _

 

_ “Yes.’ _

 

“No, Daehwi he doesn’t.”

 

“Yes, Jinyoung he literally doe—”

 

“ _ No Daehwi, he literally doesn’t!”  _ Jinyoung snaps. “He doesn’t, because the whole relationship was fucking fake, and it was only supposed to be a couple weeks,  _ at most,  _ and it spiraled out of my control, and I fucking fell in love with him when I wasn’t supposed to!”

 

Daehwi’s eyes widen, and Jinyoung sighs heavily, annoyed and embarrassed that he told Daehwi. A silent beat drops between them.

 

“Ugh, I’m going to have to cancel my movie date,” is all Daehwi says, whipping out his phone and sending a text. “Get us some snacks, Jinyoung-hyung, you have a lot to tell me.”

 

**☾**

 

“So, after you walked out of his room, you guys never talked again?”

 

Jinyoung shakes his head. “He avoids me like the plague. Which, I don’t blame him, I do it now, too. He asked Jihoon to switch partners in Chemistry too.”

 

“Hm.”

 

“Well,” Jinyoung breathes out, reaching over as they sit on the floor to grab a chip from the bag. “I don’t blame him anyway. He probably noticed I caught feelings and ran. How embarrassing.”

Daehwi frowns, before he’s reaching forward to snatch the bag chip from Jinyoung in annoyance.

 

“Hey, I was going to get some,” Jinyoung grumbles.

 

“Do you really think that’s why he broke up with you?”

 

“ _ Fake  _ broke up,” Jinyoung corrects.

 

“Shut up. Whatever,” Daehwi deadpans.  “Did you even  _ comprehend _ what he said?”

 

“Yeah, Daehwi, I was there,” Jinyoung says, insulted. He leans back against his bed and crosses his arms. “He said he didn’t want to hold my hand or kiss me anymore. Thanks for the reminder.”

 

“Is that exactly what he said?” Daehwi points out.

  
“Basically, yeah.”

 

“Not  _ basically,”  _ Daehwi huffs. “Is that what he  _ exactly  _ said?”

 

Jinyoung frowns. “He said he didn’t want to to hold my hand or kiss me anymore for the sake of  fooling Woojin.”

 

Daehwi scowls. “You know, I had assumed that you had a miniscule brain to go along with your miniscule head, but I never had evidence to prove it until now. You’re so stupid, Bae Jinyoung.”

 

“Hey! Rude, I’m still your hyung,” Jinyoung splutters.

 

“Look,” Daehwi sighs. “I don’t know how much more I can spell it out for you.”

  
Jinyoung looks at him questioningly.

 

“Imagine falling in love someone you think is in love with someone else,” Daehwi says. “Guanlin kept falling in love you while thinking you were still hung up on Woojin.”

 

“But,” Jinyoung croaks. “But I’m not! I haven’t thought about Woojin in so long,  _ god,  _ not for a long time, why would he think that? I hadn’t even mentioned Woojin in so long.”

 

“But does he know you’re not into Woojin anymore? Did you even tell him? Yeah, you haven’t told him anything to make him think you’re into Woojin but have you told him anything to show that you’re  _ not  _ into Woojin? That this whole relationship with him stopped being fake a long time ago? That you only thought about him?”

 

Jinyoung frowns.

 

“It was real for him too, Jinyoung-hyung,” Daehwi says, uncharacteristically soft. “But you have to tell him.”

 

**☾**

 

Jinyoung is stupid.

 

That’s exactly what Guanlin tells him, as he stands outside Guanlin’s house at ten p.m, at night, with no jacket on. The nights have been getting colder, and Jinyoung stands outside, arms around himself, jacket forgotten.

 

“You’re so stupid,” Guanlin chastises, and he closes the door.

 

Jinyoung blinks— did Guanlin just shut the door in his face? But then, Guanlin is opening the door again, and shoving a sweatshirt in his hands,  _ the  _ sweatshirt, and Jinyoung insides start to feel warm again.

 

“Put it on, it’s cold,” Guanlin says quietly, before crossing his arms.

  
“What are you doing here?” Guanlin says afterwards. “It’s so late.”

 

“Sorry,” Jinyoung says, sheepishly. He tries to balance his labored breathing.

 

“Jesus,” Guanlin mutters. “Did you run here?”

 

Jinyoung shrugs.  “Did I wake you?”

 

Guanlin looks at him, and Jinyoung realises they haven’t talked or really seen each other this close in awhile. A dark shadow has taken hostage on Guanlin’s face, an eggplant purple color settling on his eyebags.

 

“No, I don’t really sleep much anymore.”

 

“Me too.”

 

A sigh.

 

“Look,” Jinyoung says, quietly. “Can we talk?”

 

“It’s been weeks, Jinyoung,” Guanlin mumbles, and his eyes stay guarded.

 

“Please,” Jinyoung all but pleads. “For a few minutes. I only need a few minutes. If you’ll have me.”

 

Guanlin looks at him carefully again, his brows furrowed. Jinyoung shifts between his feet, suddenly feeling self-conscious and uncomfortable under Guanlin’s gaze for the first time in his life.

 

And then Guanlin’s shutting the door and sighing, stepping forward.

 

“Okay.”

 

“Okay?” Jinyoung says, surprised. He didn’t think Guanlin would actually say yes.

  
“Okay,” he repeats. “Let’s take a walk though, yeah?”

 

“I— yeah, sure. Of course. Whatever you wanna do,” Jinyoung says all too quickly, too excitedly.

 

His face quickly falters when Guanlin spares him a glance, and laughs under his breath.

 

They walk out towards the sidewalk, quietly, and Jinyoung fiddles with the house keys he has in his hand in an effort to calm his nervousness.

 

For a moment, his right hand brushes Guanlin’s left hand, and Guanlin instinctively pulls away at the touch. Jinyoung sighs.

 

“Guanlin,” he starts.

 

He has a whole speech in his head, one he rehearsed the whole way to Guanlin’s house. But one look at Guanlin’s face, Guanlin’s confused face, and he forgets everything he had rehearsed.

 

“Fuck it,” he breathes out. “Look, Guanlin. I’m in love with you.”

 

Guanlin’s eyes widen, and he looks like he’s about to say something, but Jinyoung puts his hand up.

 

“Wait, let me finish this, okay? I need to get this off my chest,” he continues. “I’m not _in like_ with you. I’m in love with you. I fell in _real_ love with you, in this _not_ _real_ relationship a long time ago. I should’ve told you sooner, told you that this was all _so real_ to me so many months ago, but I was so afraid you were going to call it quits, that you didn’t want to do this anymore if it was real. So I never did. And I kept quiet, and I let us do things I knew we shouldn’t be doing in a fake relationship. You became a permanent fixture in my life, Guanlin.”

 

Guanlin smiles at that.

 

“I mean,” Jinyoung laughs, but there’s a sadness to it. “You were supposed to only be a  _ mere lab partner.  _ (Guanlin snorts.) and then suddenly, you were becoming a part of my everyday life, life outside that class, and you were meeting and  _ bonding  _ with my friends, and god, you’ve even met my parents, and they  _ like  _ you and— anyway, I’m getting off topic but my point is. You became such an important part of my life,” Jinyoung says. “You weren’t supposed to, but you did. And I was scared of what would happen if I disturbed that.”

 

“Which,” Jinyoung takes a deep breath. “Is so stupid anyway because we still ended up crashing and burning. It’s funny, life was fine before you really came into my life. But now, it feels almost unbearable, and I feel like someone pushing a thousand pound weight on my chest.”

 

Jinyoung steps closer to Guanlin, and to his surprise, Guanlin doesn’t move away.

 

“But what about Woojin?” Guanlin says quietly, and he looks so vulnerable, more vulnerable than Jinyoung has ever seen him, and the ache in his chest hurts again. Guanlin looks down at his toes.

 

“I haven’t thought about him as more than just my best friend in months,” Jinyoung confesses, and Guanlin’s eyes shoot up to meet Jinyoung’s. “He’s just my friend. I haven’t thought about him, and this feeling— these feelings I have with you, they’re different than what I had with him.”

 

“You don’t like him?”

 

Jinyoung shakes his head, smiling. “What I had with you was real.  _ Is  _ real. I didn’t want to tell you I didn’t feel anything for him, because then I’d have to admit to you that this relationship stopped being fake a long time ago. I’m in love with you, Guanlin.”

 

Guanlin’s eyes start to get watery at this point, and Jinyoung looks up at him. “Are you crying? Ah shit, Guanlin I didn’t mean to make you cry, I didn’t mean to upse—”

 

“Shut up,” Guanlin cries out. “I’m crying out of happiness!”

 

Jinyoung looks taken aback, before his face contorts into a grin. 

 

“Happiness? I didn’t think you’d be the type to cry over a confession, Guanlinnie,” he teases.

 

Guanlin sniffles loudly, before he’s pouting and pointing an accusatory finger at Jinyoung. 

 

“You  _ know  _ I love romantic dramas! And it’s your fault I’m crying, you’re the one who broke my heart in the first place,” he whines, and Jinyoung is smiling, and stepping forward to wrap his arm around Guanlin’s waist.

 

Almost immediately, as if it’s second nature, Guanlin reiterates the movement, wrapping his arms around Jinyoung as well.

 

“I’m sorry,” Jinyoung says quietly.

 

“And I love you,” he adds.

 

“S’okay,” Guanlin mumbles in return. “I’m sorry, too. And I love you. And it was all real for me too.”

 

Jinyoung smile grows wider. “I missed this.”

 

“Even tiptoeing to kiss me?”

 

“Even that.”

 

“Good thing you can do it again. Right now. If you wanted to,” Guanlin responds, grinning.

 

Jinyoung laughs.

 

He does— tiptoe to kiss Guanlin. Over and over again.

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading if you read until the end!
> 
> i hope you guys enjoyed, i was actually supposed to be working on my 33847 other wips but i heard there was a pandeep week, and there's not enough fics for them, one of my fave maknae line ships, so i decided to give it a go and wrote this in like 4 days lolz ;; this was mean to be like a 3k one-shot but here we are...
> 
> thank u for taking the time to read, again i'm so sorry this was so late 
> 
> i opened up a [writing twitter account](https://twitter.com/dinuguans) w a cc so please feel free to say hi to me! it would be much appreciated ♡
> 
> if you wanna get to know me past my writing, and learn all about my useless mumbling about wanna one you can follow me on my [personal twitter](https://twitter.com/guaniinist)! :^)


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